Screwed Up
by Retroactive Definition
Summary: What do you do when you find out your older brother was driving drunk and killed four people? Dil Pickles wishes he knew. Now, he must cope with Tommy, who's trying to forgive himself for that night and failing badly. Slight Lil/Tommy.
1. Accidental

Author's Note: Loads 'o angst. Rating may go up.  
Pairings: Mild Tommy/Lil   
  
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"He WHAT?!" Dil Pickles held the phone in disbelief. The fifteen year old boy had gone completely numb. "I'm sorry," the voice at the other end of the line said. "OK, um, we'll be down there in a second," Dil stammered and hung up.   
  
"Dilly, you shouldn't yell in the house. You woke me and your father up," his mother, Didi. reprimanded him.   
  
"MOM!" Dil yelped. "Tommy took the car out even though he's too young to drive and went to a party and got drunk and started to drive home but he crashed into a car and killed four people in the other car and hurt one really bad who's in critical condition and he got knocked out and is in the hospital but he's OK and I said we needed to go see him now!" Dil took a deep breath and burst out into tears.   
  
"Tommy? He did what?" Didi asked, stunned. Dil was crying too hard to answer. "I'll go get your father..." She said, leaving Dil heartbroken and crying on the couch.  
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ONE HOUR EARLIER  
  
~Tommy~  
  
Tommy and Phil high-fived each other. "Glad you made it, Tommy!" Phil said. "Uh..yeah," Tommy replied, not wanting to think about how he'd snuck the car out. This was a Jessica Sevenwoore party, and Jessica threw the best parties in their school! Recently Tommy had been teased for not going to any of Jessica's parties, and he'd even been beat up some, and he was just there for this one party to get bullies to quit teasing him.   
  
Tommy saw Lil talking to Kimi by the punch, and decided to go over, nonchalantly pour himself some punch, and try to strike up a conversation with Lil. He'd liked her for a long time and now that no parents were around, he wanted to try to see if she shared his feelings. He took the ladle and poured himself some punch. Lil heard the ladle clink against the punch bowl and turned to see Tommy pouring some punch.   
  
"Hi, Tommy!" Lil said with a smile.   
  
"Hi, Lil," Tommy said, trying to stay as cool as possible.   
  
Kimi said, "I'm going to the bathroom," and left the two alone. There was an awkward silence, and Tommy drained his punch glass. He shivered as the cool liquid went down his throat. It tasted like 7-Up and something he couldn't put his finger on. It was good.   
  
Tommy ladled some more punch, and then Lil said, "Hey Tommy, you want to talk?" "About what?" "I don't know. Just things." "Uh...sure?" They went over to a couch by the punch and sat down. Lil started off by asking, "So, do you like the new English teacher?"   
  
Thirty minutes (and six glasses of punch later) Tommy and Lil were getting closer and closer to each other on the couch; so close their faces were almost touching. Tommy, however, couldn't move off the couch anyway, or else he'd fall flat on his face. It was spiked punch that Tommy had been gulping, and now he was pretty drunk.   
Whether Lil knew, din't know or didn't care wasn't obvious. She said, "Tommy, do you like me?" Through Tommy's clouded mind, he managed, "Yeah Lil, I cared about you as long as I can remember." Lil whispered, "Tommy, let's get closer."   
  
She kissed him. Tommy kissed her. Soon, they were horizontally making out on the couch, oblivious to the stares of the other party-goers. "I love you, Tommy," Lil whispered. "I love you, Lil," Tommy agreed.   
  
Finally they stopped. Tommy got some more punch, an addictive drink for him, and gulped two cups down. He loved the way this punch sent adredaline through his blood stream and body. Lil went and hugged him. "I'll see you tommorow then, Tommy? At school?" She said.  
  
"Sure, at school," Tommy said. Lil went out the door. Tommy decided to go back home too. From the previous makeout session, Tommy had barely been able to fasten his pants well enough so they didn't fall, and as he crossed the room he hoped his pants would stay up. He grabbed his shirt and didn't even try to struggle with it, and he wobbled out the door.   
  
Tommy thrust the key in the ignition and backed out and into the street. Driving along the dark streets, he vaguely wondered where the intersection was, and that led him to get lost in his thoughts. He was paying no attention, and because of that he didn't notice the intersection directly ahead of him...didn't notice the red light...didn't notice the car untill they had collided...  
  
~Lil~  
  
Lil was ecstaic. Finally, she had confessed to Tommy and he had shared her feelings! She grinned in glee and armrest on the seat hard. She'd managed to catch a ride home with four other girls in her homeroom.   
  
"You live on Elm, Lil, and you're gonna be dropped off first!" announced Jennifer, the driver of the car (who was of legal age, perfectly sober and with a driver's liscence). "Cool!" Lil smiled. Jennifer said, as the light changed from red to green,   
  
"Wow! I didn't think this intersection would be so easy to cross!" "Yeah, Jen! It usually takes forever!" Agreed Sarah, another girl.   
  
"OH MY GOD! JEN, WATCH OUT FOR-" The warning was too late. The car had collided hard with another, making crunched metal of the car. Lil's last thoughts before she blacked out were, 'Tommy! I hope he knows how much I care!'   
  
But Lil didn't know it WAS a drunken Tommy who had caused the entire wreck in the first place.  
  
And murdered Sarah, Jennifer, Ashley, and Tina. 


	2. That Night

Tommy remembered that the night before he had gone out and taken the car- SHIT! Did his parents know about that? He thought he was still in bed, so he stretched and opened his eyes-to find that he was in a blindingly white hospital room. Dil and his Mom and Dad sat in various chairs around the room. looking somber and silent. Dil's face was red and tear stained. "Dil? Mom? Dad?" Tommy's voice was hoarse and croaked badly-and ugh! What WAS that taste in his mouth? he also realized his stomach was upset and he had a headache. Tommy began feeling a bit scared. Why was he in the hospital? Why did everybody look so sad? What was wrong with him?  
  
His father lifted his head when he heard Tommy's words, and immediately rushed over to his son's bedside. "THOMAS PICKLES! What in the HELL were you thinking?!?!?!" he screamed, grabbing Tommy's shoulders. "Ow! Dad! Quit it!" Protested Tommy. "It serves you right! What the fuck were you thinking?" Didi ran over and grabbed Stu. "Stop it, Stu! Can't you see you're hurting him!" Tommy paid no attention to the shouting match between his parents; he simply looked at Dil, slumped in a chair, occaisonally fearfully glancing at him. Dil...his brother...afraid of him? What HAD he done?  
  
Suddenly, his mom looked over at him. "Tommy, do you know what you did?" Tommy shook his head, no, but suddenly, he closed his eyes and a whole rush of memories flooded upon him...  
  
Tommy remembered he was in a car. Likely his parents' car, he mused. It was all so foggy...unclear... But it wasn't as if he saw it all through his eyes. Like he was watching it as a spectator on some obscure TV show... Everything suddenly came into brilliant focus, and Tommy saw himself, without his shirt...where was his shirt? And his pants were unbuckled, unzipped, barely up. Suddenly, Tommy watched in horror as he approached the intersection, and didn't stop at the red light! Another car went through the intersection, and they crashed head-on! Suddenly, Tommy couldn't see himself in the car. He was on the street. Bloody, bruised, with gravel covering his side and back...he had been thrown from his car...why didn't he wear his seatbelt? Two policeman were kneeling over the wreck, talking. "Yeah, this is the kid who caused all this shit... Tommy Pickles, so says his ID. No driver's liscense. He's only sixteen. Damn, I hate it when these kids do that!" The other policeman said, "Help is coming for this kid in a minute. Bet he's gonna be just fine. Fucking kid, too young to even drive and he goes out, gets drunk, and manages to kill four girls."   
  
Tommy zoomed back to reality, feeling horribly ill. He was drunk? He hadn't drank any beer or anything... And he killed four people? He murdered them? The punch! It must have been spiked or something... And now his family hated him, and his brother was afaid of him? "I'm sorry," Tommy whispered. "I honestly didn't know..." Stu gritted his teeth. "You damn well didn't know! You didn't know ANYTHING!" "STU!" yelled Didi. "What, Didi! He deserves it!" "Who'd I kill?" "What?" Didi and Stu looked back at their son. "What?" "Who did I kill?" Stu gritted his teeth and started to answer, but Didi hushed him. "Their names were Sarah, Jennifer, Ashley, and Tina. They were all honor roll students...with bright futures..." Tommy felt like he'd been slapped in the face WHAT HAD HE DONE? 


End file.
